The Pet-agon

Terms of Sale

Effective date: 22 September 2026
Last updated: 22 September 2026

These terms apply when you buy anything from The Pet-agon. Please read § 6 in particular: it explains when you can change your mind and get your money back, and the answer is different for the digital file and for the printed poster.

This English text is published at /terms. A Polish version, the Regulamin, is published at /regulamin. Both are linked from the footer of every page. The two are written to say the same thing, section for section, and the section numbers match, so § 6b here is § 6b there. If you are a consumer resident in Poland, we treat the Polish text as the operative one. That choice can only work in your favour: whichever version you read, you keep every protection Polish and EU consumer law gives you, and where the two texts differ we will not rely on a difference against you.

§ 1. Who you are buying from#

Piotr Korzeń
ul. Kalwaryjska 69/9
30-504 Kraków
Poland
Email: contact@pet-agon.com

We refer to ourselves below as "we" and "us", and to you as "you".

These terms are written for consumers, meaning people who buy for reasons outside their trade or profession. If you are buying as a business, some of the rights described here (the withdrawal right in § 6, above all) do not apply to you by law.

§ 2. What we sell#

The digital dossier costs $4.99. It is a comic intelligence dossier about your pet, generated from a photograph you upload. You get all twelve findings, the counter-intelligence brief, the full poster as an image, a share card, and print-ready files for A4 and A3 that you can print yourself.

The printed edition costs $39 for A4 or $49 for A3. It is an optional extra, offered as a tick-box during checkout. Our print partner prints it on premium matte paper, 200gsm, and posts it to you. Delivery is free and already included in the price, to the countries offered at checkout, which the address step lists before you pay.

The printed edition can only be bought together with the digital dossier, or later for a dossier you have already bought.

Prices are in US dollars and include any VAT or sales tax that applies where you are. The price you see is the price you pay; nothing is added at the end.

§ 3. How buying works#

  1. You upload a photograph and, if you want, your pet's name and up to three nicknames.
  2. We generate the dossier. This happens before you pay anything.
  3. You are shown part of the dossier for free: three of the twelve findings, and the share card.
  4. If you want the rest, you pay. The order page is Stripe's; we never see your card details.
  5. As soon as your payment is confirmed, the full dossier and all the files are available at your dossier's address.

Your order is accepted, and a contract is formed, when your payment is confirmed and we make the files available to you.

There is no account and no password. Your dossier lives at a long, random, unguessable web address, and holding that address is what gives you access to it. Keep it. If you lose it, see § 10.

Keep your confirmation email. We send one as soon as your payment is confirmed. It carries your dossier's address, what you bought, what you paid, and the statements you agreed to under § 6a. Stripe also emails you its own receipt. Between them they are your proof of purchase.

§ 4. Your photograph#

You keep every right you already had in your photograph. We do not take ownership of it.

By uploading, you give us permission to use the photograph only to do the job you are asking us to do: describe it, generate your dossier, render your files, and, if you buy a print, send it to our print partner to be printed. That permission covers nothing else.

We never use your photograph, or your dossier, or anything derived from either, in any advertisement or on any public channel of ours. We do not ask you for permission to do so, because we have decided not to do it at all.

You also promise us that:

If a photograph breaks any of these, we may refuse to process it or delete it. Where we refuse an order for this reason and you have already paid, we refund you in full.

§ 5. What the dossier actually is#

The dossier is a joke. It is written by an AI model that has been told to invent a plausible intelligence file about an animal in a photograph, and none of it is true. "Findings", "threat levels", "known associates" and "aliases" are comic inventions. They are not observations, assessments or statements of fact about your pet, your home, or anyone visible in the photograph.

Two things follow from that. The output varies, so two runs on the same photograph will not produce the same dossier and we cannot regenerate an identical one. And the machine sometimes misses: if our system cannot find an animal in your photograph, or the image quality is too poor to work with, we tell you before you pay anything, and you can try a different photograph.

You buy what you have already seen: by the time you are asked for money, the dossier exists and you have seen a real sample of it.

§ 6. Changing your mind (the right of withdrawal)#

As a consumer in the EU (and the UK, and several other places with equivalent laws) you normally have 14 days to withdraw from a distance purchase for any reason.

Because you may be buying two different things in one payment, the answer is not the same for both. They are two separate exclusions, resting on two different provisions of the law, and neither one is a general rule about your order. Read whichever applies to you. If you bought both, both sections apply, each to its own item.

§ 6a. The digital dossier: you give the right up in exchange for getting it now#

You get the file within a minute of paying, and that is the product. It is only possible if supply starts inside the 14-day withdrawal window, and the law says that starting early costs you the withdrawal right, provided you ask for it and know what you are giving up.

So, before you pay, you will be asked to tick two separate boxes. Both start empty. Neither is ticked for you.

☐ I ask you to make the full dossier available to me immediately, before the 14-day withdrawal period ends.

☐ I understand that once you have done so, I lose my right to withdraw from the purchase of the digital dossier.

Those two sentences are the operative wording of an English-language order form. If the checkout is shown to you in English, the boxes carry exactly these words.

The first box is your express request that we begin supplying the digital content immediately, before the 14-day period ends. The second is your acknowledgement that once we have done so, the right to withdraw from the digital dossier is gone. The law requires both, and requires them separately, which is why they are two boxes and not one.

The Polish text of the same two boxes, published in the Regulamin at /regulamin and shown to Polish-language customers, is:

☐ Chcę, aby pełne dossier zostało mi udostępnione niezwłocznie, przed upływem 14-dniowego terminu na odstąpienie od umowy.

☐ Przyjmuję do wiadomości, że z chwilą udostępnienia mi dossier tracę prawo odstąpienia od umowy o dostarczanie treści cyfrowej.

Which of the two you are shown is decided by the language your browser asks for: a browser that asks for Polish gets the Polish boxes, and everything else gets the English ones. We record which of the two wordings you were shown alongside your order, with the date and time, and your confirmation email quotes back the wording you actually ticked rather than the other one.

If you live in Poland the Polish text binds whichever wording you ticked — see the note at the top of this document — and you can ask us for the Polish wording and a Polish confirmation at any time, at the email address in § 1.

If what you saw at checkout differed from one of these two wordings, tell us: one of the two is wrong and we want to know which.

The legal basis is art. 38 ust. 1 pkt 13 ustawy z dnia 30 maja 2014 r. o prawach konsumenta, which implements Art. 16(m) of the Consumer Rights Directive (2011/83/EU).

If you tick both and pay, the files are unlocked at once, and your right to withdraw from the digital dossier is gone from that moment. We confirm that you gave this consent and this acknowledgement, in writing, by email, when your payment is confirmed, and that email quotes both statements back to you.

If you do not tick both, we cannot sell you the digital dossier. Immediate supply is the only way we offer it, because the file is generated before you are asked to pay and there would be nothing to wait for. You are free not to buy, nothing is charged, and your free preview stays where it is.

These two statements concern the 14-day change-of-mind right for the digital dossier, and nothing else. They do not touch § 7. If the files are faulty, missing or not what was described, your rights under § 7 are untouched, they last two years, and no box you tick can waive them. This section affects the digital dossier only.

§ 6b. The printed poster: it is made for you, so there is no withdrawal right#

Every poster is printed to order with your photograph, your pet's name and nicknames, and a case number belonging to your dossier alone. It cannot be sold to anyone else, and it is not a stock item taken off a shelf.

Under EU consumer law, goods made to your specifications or clearly personalised are excluded from the withdrawal right (Consumer Rights Directive, Art. 16(c); in Poland, art. 38 ust. 1 pkt 3 ustawy o prawach konsumenta, rzecz nieprefabrykowana, wyprodukowana według specyfikacji konsumenta lub służąca zaspokojeniu jego zindywidualizowanych potrzeb). We are telling you this here, before you buy, because that is the condition of relying on it. We tell you again, in one sentence, next to the tick-box itself.

Nothing is ticked to bring this about. It applies by operation of law to a made-to- order item, which is why § 6b has no boxes where § 6a has two.

Therefore, once you order a print, you cannot withdraw from it and send it back for a refund simply because you changed your mind.

This does not apply to a print that arrives damaged, faulty, or not matching what you ordered. Those cases fall under § 7, which always applies.

§ 6c. What is left of the withdrawal right#

For the avoidance of doubt:

We do not operate an "all sales final" policy, we do not have one written anywhere, and any sentence you find elsewhere on this site that reads like one is wrong and this section overrides it. A blanket clause of that kind is prohibited under Polish consumer law, and a single blended sentence covering both products would weaken both of the exclusions above rather than strengthen either.

§ 7. If something is wrong with what you got#

These rights are yours by law. They exist regardless of § 6, they last two years, and nothing you tick at checkout affects them.

If the print is faulty, whether it was damaged in the post, badly printed, made in the wrong size, or carries a colour cast that is not in the file you were shown, tell us within a reasonable time of noticing, at contact@pet-agon.com, with a photograph of the problem. We will reprint it at our expense. If a reprint is not possible or does not fix it, you get a refund. We do not ask you to pay return postage for a faulty item, and in most cases we will not ask you to send it back at all.

If the digital files are faulty, meaning they will not open, they are corrupt, they are missing, or they are not what was described, tell us and we will fix them. If we cannot, you get a refund.

A dossier whose jokes you did not enjoy is not a fault; nor is a print that faithfully reproduces a photograph that was blurry or low-resolution to begin with. If you are unsure whether your photograph is good enough to print large, ask us before ordering the print.

Under Polish law this is the rękojmia / conformity regime: the conformity rules for goods apply to the poster, and the conformity rules for digital content apply to the files. You may also have rights under the consumer law of the country you live in. We do not limit either.

§ 8. Delivery#

The digital dossier is available immediately after payment is confirmed, at your dossier's address.

The printed poster is printed to order and posted from the print facility nearest you. Typical delivery is 5-8 working days in Poland and the EU, longer further afield, and in any case within 30 days, which is the legal maximum. If we cannot meet that, you may cancel and get a full refund.

Damage in transit is ours to carry, not yours: the risk of loss or damage passes to you only when the poster is delivered into your hands, or into the hands of a carrier you chose yourself rather than one we chose. A poster that arrives damaged or does not arrive at all is dealt with under § 7.

Shipping is free and already in the price. Customs duty, import charges and any local tax on the parcel are not: if a charge is levied on a printed poster arriving at your address, it is yours to pay, on delivery, to the carrier or to your customs authority.

Whether one is levied depends on where the poster is going. A parcel that stays inside the EU customs territory crosses no customs border and rarely attracts anything. Be careful with that phrase, though: an address in the EU and an address in the EU customs territory are not the same thing, and several EU addresses sit outside it — the Canary Islands, Ceuta and Melilla, Åland and the French overseas departments among them. Any delivery address outside the EU customs territory may attract charges. We cannot tell you in advance whether there will be one, or what it will come to.

§ 9. Refunds#

Where a refund is due, we pay it to the same card or method you used, within 14 days of accepting the claim. Refunds are made in US dollars for the amount charged; if your bank's exchange rate has moved since you paid, the amount landing in your account may differ slightly, and that difference is not something we control.

Your dossier has no password because it has no account. Whoever holds the address has access to it.

If you lose it and you have paid, look in your confirmation email first, because the link is in it. If you cannot find that either, email contact@pet-agon.com from the address you gave at checkout and tell us roughly when you paid. We will find the order and send you the link back.

If you lose it and you have not paid, we probably cannot find it, because nothing ties it to you. Upload the photograph again and a new dossier will be generated.

If you have shared your dossier's public share address and want it taken down, email us and we will delete the dossier. Copies other people have already saved are beyond our reach.

§ 11. Using the site properly#

Do not attempt to break, overload or script the service, to guess other people's dossier addresses, or to get at files you have not paid for. We limit how often the same visitor can submit uploads and start checkouts, and we may block access that looks abusive.

§ 12. Rights in what you bought#

Three different things are mixed together in your dossier, and they are owned differently. This section says which is which, because the usual clause in terms of this kind, "all rights in the output remain with the seller", would be false here. Your dossier is built around your photograph, and your photograph is not ours.

Your photograph stays yours. Every right you had in it before you uploaded it, you still have. Nothing in these terms transfers any of it to us, and we make no claim to it. § 4 is the only permission you give us, and it is limited to producing your order.

The template stays ours. The dossier's design, its layout, its typography, the structure and wording of the form your findings are poured into, the generated text itself, and the Pet-agon name and marks are ours.

We grant you a worldwide, perpetual, irrevocable, royalty-free, non-exclusive licence to use the files you bought (the poster, the share card and the print-ready PDFs) for any personal purpose. Print them, frame them, hang them, put them on the internet, post them on social media, give copies to friends and family. You do not need to ask us, and you do not need to credit us.

The licence does not cover selling the files, or selling prints, mugs, shirts or any other product made from them, as a product of your own; passing the dossier format off as your own design; or using the Pet-agon name or marks as though you were us. If you want to do something commercial with your own dossier, email us and ask; we are not unreasonable, but the answer has to be in writing.

§ 13. Our responsibility to you#

We are responsible for foreseeable loss caused by our breaking these terms or failing to use reasonable care. We are not responsible for loss that was not foreseeable, or for business losses, because this is a consumer product.

We do not limit our liability for death or personal injury caused by our negligence, for fraud, or for anything else the law does not permit us to limit, including your statutory rights as a consumer.

We do not promise the site is available without interruption.

§ 14. Complaints#

Email contact@pet-agon.com. Tell us what happened and what you would like us to do, and give us enough to find your order: the confirmation email, the Stripe receipt, or the date you paid.

We acknowledge complaints and answer them within 14 days of receiving them, which is the deadline Polish consumer law sets for responding to a consumer complaint. In practice that is usually one email rather than two. If we do not answer inside those 14 days, the complaint counts as accepted on the terms you asked for.

If you are not happy with our answer, you can take the matter to an out-of-court consumer dispute body. The authoritative and current list of those bodies is the one UOKiK publishes at uokik.gov.pl. Start there, because the list changes and this page is not the register. In Poland the routes people most often use are the Wojewódzki Inspektorat Inspekcji Handlowej and the network of local consumer ombudsmen (miejski / powiatowy rzecznik konsumentów). Consumers elsewhere in the EU can get help from their national European Consumer Centre.

§ 15. Law and where disputes go#

These terms are governed by Polish law. As a consumer, you keep the protection of any mandatory consumer law of the country you live in, and you may bring proceedings in the courts of that country.

§ 16. Changes to these terms#

We may change these terms for future orders. The version that applies to your order is the version published when you paid, and we will keep dated copies of previous versions so that this can be checked. The wording of the two statements in § 6a is versioned separately and recorded against your order, so what you agreed to can always be read back even after this document has moved on.